


shoulda coulda woulda

by deltachye



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Fluff and Angst, Gift Fic, Other, Secret Crush, Short One Shot, haha ripperoni :)))
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 11:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15435807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye
Summary: [reader x peter parker]What if?[to karlee; dw '18]





	shoulda coulda woulda

Your heart pounds embarrassingly loudly and it’s almost like the whole damn world can hear you. You’ve never felt so exposed despite the fact that nobody’s looking—of course nobody here bothers to look at a simple nerd like you—and yet, you feel all their judgemental eyes weigh down your shoulders. Despite it all you take a deep breath; it isn’t fair to yourself to put it off any longer. It’s been a whole _year_ , already, and you’d only be letting yourself down at this point if you turned back again.

Peter and Ned sit in their usual spot on the end of the cafeteria table at the back, wedged next to the bathroom door entrances. Nobody else likes to sit here (reason being self-explanatory), so you feel a little more encouraged. The plastic tray quivers in your hand and you inhale sharply. Now or never.

A bit more dramatically than you’d have hoped, you slam your tray down in front of the two boys and flash a grim smile to both him and Ned. “Hey,” you greet chirpily, cringing inwardly at how awkward you sound but forging on anyways, “can I ask you something, Peter?”

“Y-yeah, of course!” he stammers out, having been in the middle of sipping from his milk carton. He muffles choking noises as you ready yourself, smearing sweaty palms onto your pant legs. 

“There’s a party,” you manage to say steadily, even though your blood feels like it’s on fire. “And I was wondering. If… you wanted to go with me.”

It sounded… okay to you. You hadn’t messed it up, had you? God, you felt like you were going to black out at any second—right, _breathe_. 

Peter had been your crush since freshman year physics. He’d saved you a lifetime of embarrassment, answering a question that you had accidentally napped through, and ever since you couldn’t help but feel your stupid feelings grow. He was nice, heartbreakingly so; funny; nerdy; smart to a fault; and plenty cute. There was no real reason _not_ to like him, much to your dismay. 

You muster the courage to look up. Peter doesn’t look upset or appalled or disgusted or disinterested, even though he’s still hacking away behind a hand, but he’s _nodding_? Oh, wow, he’s really _nodding_.

“Yeah, that sounds awes—I-I mean, that sounds great! Me and Ned’ll be there, right?” he says hoarsely between coughs.

Your heart sinks. You like Ned and all, but this was meant to be a ‘Me and Pete’ kinda thing, and… You desperately look over to the Filipino boy to see if he’s catching on, but he’s nodding too, and your heart drops coldly to the linoleum floor.

“Definitely! We’ll be both of your wingmen; don’t you worry, [Name]!”

If only he knew that he’d just shot you down as your so called ‘wing-man’. But you’d used up the last drop of your courage, and all you could do was nod stiffly. Peter smiled shyly, a bit red in the face from his coughing attack, but the crooked grin made your heart melt. It was fine, you told yourself after seeing that smile. _I’ll have another chance._

But when Mr. Tony Stark of all people stands in your doorway, you truly think that this is it; this is the end of the world. No confessions to crushes could trump the way your heart was racing when Iron Man was swatting moths away from your porchlight. No alien invasions would give you any more fear than the look on his stern face. No other words than _‘I’m sorry’_ would ever _hurt_ more.

“What do you mean he’s, uh… ‘gone’?” you say weakly, almost with a half-smile on your face because of raw disbelief. 

“I… I found his phone, and you were the first reminder in it, so I thought I’d. Let you know personally. Rather than… you, er… finding out any other way.” He’s awkward. Iron Man is _awkward_ around you, a kid, and you hate that you know why. You hope you’re wrong, you’re crossing your fingers at your side as you talk, stupidly fast and tripping over yourself so that you can know you’re wrong, because you’re definitely wrong—

“Um! This is just to like, protect him or something, right? S-something confidential. Because of the internship. Your internship, and all… that.”

You’re grasping at straws and he gives you the sad, hopeless look you give to people that already know they’re dying.

“I’m _so_ sorry, [Name].”

Peter had also made the reminder **buy [Name] flowers for party!!!:D** , and it lit up a forgotten screen. What a shame that you and he would never know it.


End file.
